Kelcium

but it would feel SO good…

kelsey — Mon, 11 Jun 2007 07:58:17 +0000

Must…resist…urges…to
…start packing right now
…delete facebook account
…use the class catalogue as toilet paper
…tip a cow and then spray paint “steak” on it
…tag “Dixon or bust” on the Welcome to Davis sign
…send a mass email to everyone from my ucd accountant saying “PEACE BEETCHES!!!”
…hold a rude sign outside Chancellor Vanderhoef’s house…oh wait. That’s mean. (stupid CoHo)…
…round up all the Aggie (ucd newspaper) and pile them in trash cans right outside the Domes.
…hijack a double-decker bus and run it through the store front of Dos Coyotes…both of them…
and most of all, must resist urge to pile every abandoned bike on campus high in front of the ARC, light it on fire creating the biggest blaze since the Whole Earth Festival, cover myself in blue and yellow body paint, walk backwards around the fire while repeating lines from my Tour Guide sketch, all the while handing out UCD 2000 scantrons that I’ve written “UCD –done in 3″ on, to passer-bys.

Really must resist that last one.

In the fog of the crystal ball

kelsey — Wed, 30 May 2007 06:07:18 +0000

I did not have the following conversation.
My guess is that someday I will.
I will play the part of JC.

JC: I am tired of real life.
JC: It has long hours.
My Bro: haha
JC: It needs to hurry up and be summer time.
Bro: I knew this day would come
Bro: every day you bitched about school
Bro: I thought of this day
Bro: and smiled
JC: That’s not very supportive of you.
Bro: I try and keep it on the down low, but I’m a bit of an asshole.
JC: haha

Any takers to play the asshole?

Yes again

kelsey — Tue, 22 May 2007 00:38:17 +0000

Days til…

quiz, paper due, and last day of tech in college ever ~1
2 papers due and preview of my last college show ever~2
my last college show ever opens ~3
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End ~4
Saturday ~5
Memorial day ~7
rough draft due ~8
paper due ~9
paper due ~10
closing of my last college show ever! ~13
quiz ~15
*last day of classes ever! ~16
*last final ever! ~23
Karen comes home! ~24
Mom’s burfday ~25
Bro’s commencement, Aunt Young’s burfay, graduation party ~26
My commencement, Father’s day ~27
Go to Washington ~33
Start work ~34
Karen’s burfday ~40
Brian’s burfday ~42
HP and the Order of the Phoenix ~53
Dad’s burfday ~54
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows ~61
…and then pretty much reason for living stops

*in a perfect world

The joke’s on…me?

kelsey — Sun, 13 May 2007 06:04:35 +0000

“One of the best preventers of heart disease is laughter. Perhaps this is because during laughter there is a decrease in the flow of blood to the prefrontal and temporoparietal cortical areas of the brain. This suggests that humor can temporarily put the brain at rest.”

Me: HA! I’m going to live longer.
Roomie: um..good for you.
Me: Yeah, I’m gonna live longer because apparently I use…my..brain…less.

Say wha?

kelsey — Tue, 08 May 2007 01:40:42 +0000

Roomie: It’s the senioritis. That’s why we can’t get our work done!
Me: But I’m a junior, what’s my excuse?!
Roomie: Yeah, but you’re like the bastard son of a junior and a senior.
*Me blank stare*
Roomie: …wait. That didn’t come out right…

So close yet so far

kelsey — Mon, 07 May 2007 19:20:01 +0000

Me: Hey, remember how I wanted to graduate this year?
Roomie: Yeah.
Me: Yeah…I still want that.
Roomie: Really? I never would have guessed. Though I guess there were clues.
Like the fact that you’ve been talking about graduating since last year, you totally gave up any fun for this entire year, and ignoring any and all negativity from advisors and friends.
Me: You mean them telling me to take summer school and stuff?
Roomie (using a funny voice): Stop trying to graduate Kelsey Wagner!
Me: Oh no. They’ve never used my full name before. Maybe I should serisouly reconsider…

Days til…

UT Tech starts ~9
Lauren’s burfday ~11
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End ~18
Closing of my last college show ever ~27
Last day of classes evah* ~30
Last college final EVAH* ~37
Mom’s burfday ~39
Bro’s commencement ~40
Aunt Young’s burfay ~40
My commencement ~41
Father’s day ~41
Go to Washington ~47
Start work ~48
Karen’s burfday ~54
Brian’s burfday ~56
HP and the Order of the Phoenix ~67
Dad’s burfday ~68
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows ~75
…and then pretty much reason for living stops

*in a perfect world

It’s bright outside

kelsey — Fri, 04 May 2007 02:22:39 +0000

“Every time I see one of your theatre friends on campus I think ‘They let you out?! or did you escape?’ And then I think about calling the theatre department to let them know that they left a window open.” -My roomie

It’s funny cause it’s true

kelsey — Sun, 29 Apr 2007 21:53:52 +0000

“Acting is merely the art of keeping a large group of people from coughing.”
–Sir Ralph Richardson–

Emo level rising….

kelsey — Sun, 29 Apr 2007 21:30:24 +0000

Making your way in the world today takes everything you’ve got.
Taking a break from all your worries, sure would help a lot.

Wouldn’t you like to get away?

Sometimes you want to go

Where everybody knows your name,
and they’re always glad you came.
You wanna be where you can see,
our troubles are all the same
You wanna be where everybody knows
Your name.

You wanna go where people know,
people are all the same,
You wanna go where everybody knows
your name.

Making your way in the world today
Takes everything you’ve got;
Taking a break from all your worries
Sure would help a lot.
Wouldn’t you like to get away?

All those night when you’ve got no lights,
The check is in the mail;
And your little angel
Hung the cat up by it’s tail;
And your third fiance didn’t show;

Sometimes you want to go
Where everybody knows your name,
And they’re always glad you came;
You want to be where you can see,
Our troubles are all the same;
You want to be where everybody knows your name.

Roll out of bed, Mr. Coffee’s dead;
The morning’s looking bright;
And your shrink ran off to Europe,
And didn’t even write;
And your husband wants to be a girl;

Be glad there’s one place in the world
Where everybody knows your name,
And they’re always glad you came;
You want to go where people know,
People are all the same;
You want to go where everybody knows your name.

Where everybody knows your name,
And they’re always glad you came;
Where everybody knows your name,
And they’re always glad you came…

Are we there yet?

kelsey — Tue, 24 Apr 2007 07:23:02 +0000

I have a friend that commutes to school.
On several occasions I have heard him say that this drive was the “longest drive ever!”

I’m starting to wonder how much time he actually spends in his car.

Is he really forced to spend a tortuous amount of time sitting behind the wheel? Or was the first drive just really, really short?